When dreaming of university, you think of the friends, the courses, the FUN you will have; but arriving, in the pouring rain, the stark reality hits you - you are in a city you don't know, surrounded by people you don't know, about to start a whole new adventure, a whole new chapter in your life.
University is difficult, messy and honestly, whatever you make it. I decided on that day that I would make it everything I'd always wanted and that I would live it to the full.
Resolutions, schmezolutions, it was hard, I won't lie, those first weeks were hard, but also wonderful and forgetful. They are a blur to me now, and they weren't very long ago. But the thing is - fresher's week doesn't matter, those weeks at the beginning of first semester don't matter, you're finding your feet and they help you do it, but once you're standing with no dedicated week or course introductions holding your hand, you're alone and treading water by yourself. University offers you thousands of choices, paths, things to do, and so you choose, you swim this way and that, you ride the tide of societies, you do everything you want to do and no more.
And I did do it, I got involved with things that interested me, made friends with people I liked, did things I regret, things I'm proud of, made choices I wouldn't again, I experienced, I survived and I changed.
I'm proud to say that I am no longer the person we all had to be on that first day; that nervous person who felt the need to be overconfident, overeager and over-committed. That person got me where I am today, but I've matured, I feel established, Edinburgh is home now, and I feel confident just being here. I'm settled. And that I think is the progression many first years will feel they've made, each person, in their own way, has made the university their home, their place, their world, and I hope for them that they're happy with what they've done.
I write this with my first exam of the semester in two hours, you'll learn that I'm not the most productive person in the conventional sense; I get distracted easily - my best friend likes to describe me as a child in the candy shop. But I think writing this reminds me that I do love Edinburgh, and the time I've had here, and although melodramatics are making me curse the city and the university as exam stress gets the better of me, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
My lovely followers, I was going to start a new blog but I realised that I love this one too much, I love reviewing books, I love speaking with you guys and knowing you're reading my stuff because you like it, I love looking back on my writing from two years ago, yeah - hopefully my writing and attitudes will have changed a bit, as I've matured, but you'll cope with them, because you're wonderful. My reviews will be coming back online - I've refound time to read books WHICH IS GLORIOUS, I've missed it so much - basically life is now more settled and I have time to reimmerse myself with you all, and thank God, I've really missed you - there'll be a review forthcoming - imagine Game of Thrones in Outer Space (that politically romantic - thankfully not everyone dies for once - type).... It might be next week as I have two exams to get through first - Wish Me Luck
Glad to be Back,
Just This Teenager